Short answer: a brief call, when you feel like it…
You know when you are calling some hottie for the first time, and you get the “butterflies in the stomach” feeling? (Yes, ladies, men get this too!).
This feeling is your body producing adrenaline, feeding your “fight or flight” system, i.e., perfectly normal mating behavior.
But you don’t want “fight or flight” when you are calling up a girl, especially a girl you don’t know, who you just met.
What you want is to be is a cool, relaxed dude who is perfectly comfortable talking to girls on the phone. You do it all the time, right…? Chilled out, this is how you need to feel.
So before you call, get into a chilled out, relaxed state first, then call her up.
Even if you end up on her voice mail, you can leave a relaxed message:
“Hey, this is Dave, the surfer guy… let’s hang out and grab a coffee next week, say Monday evening after work. Hit me back, I’d love to hear from you.”
Now, when you should make this call? Right away? Two days later? A week after?
Well, the actual time doesn’t really matter… what matter’s is whether you have the time to 1. talk on the phone for a few minutes, 2. feel relaxed and chilled out when on the phone, and 3. have the time to meet up with her soon.
Here’s why all that works:
1. You do need to have a few minutes free to actually make a call. I’m allergic to phones myself, so I have to make myself take the time to call anyone, even my girlfriend. (Hi Sweetie!)
2. As part of 1. above, you may need to kick back for 15 minutes to let the butterflies settle, then call.
3. If you have no plans for meeting up, why are you wasting her time and yours? Make the meetup plans first (subject of another post), then call.
Now, there is something to be said for creating “mystery” and tension and not being appearing needy by calling to soon… but if you aren’t needy, then the time before calling doesn’t matter. If you are needy, you can wait as long as you want before calling, and you are still going to come across as needy!
If you’re calling a girl who goes by rules like “If he calls too soon he is a needy loser!” this girl plays lots of other manipulation games and you may be better off without her!
Women in touch with themselves and their desires do not play these kind of games!
SMS txt messaging is great way to prime a girl for a call too. The idea goes like this: txt her a short flirty message first. If she replies right away, txt her back something really short, then follow up with a call. If she replies much later (hours, days), give her a little space… reply back to her txt say an hour after she sends it. Either she is busy or she is not totally comfortable with you and needs some space. Repeat the txt cycle until she is comfortable with a fast reply, then call.
Dating in the 3rd Millenium may seem to resemble gladiatorial combat, with earnest males braving the tempestous lionesses known as “liberated” women.
This is an opportunity, not a problem.
For some of you men, divorced, in your mid-30s to mid-40s, realize that the average 22 year old coed has probably 10 times more dating experience than you do. Women your own age are liable to have vastly more sexual experience that you do.
In short, you need to learn how to plan a date.
Planning a date requires two things from you: a gut check on willingness to get out there in the big, bad world and get what you want, and the tenacity to organize your life for success in dating.
You would think nothing of organizing your life for success in business, so don’t think any less of organizing for success in dating.
Women
As women age, their standards for what they want in men become pickier and pickier. This is very much counter-productive.
Men
As men age, their standards for a woman’s looks become much less important, but how a woman treats him as a man becomes much, much more important. This is a difficult point to explain to guys in their 20s: a young woman is attractive simply because she is young! On the other hand, if she treats you poorly, of any age, why bother?
There’s more coming!
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Tags: Add new tag, Dating, Relationships
The first step to dating mastering is deciding who you are, and what you want.
A next step is organizing your life for dating success. Dating takes time to learn, master and practice. You don’t think anything odd about organizing for business success, dating is similar. If you don’t have a plan for dating success, you are unlikely to be successful.
Dating in the modern world can be utterly confusing, frustrating and evening maddening for men without the appropriate technical skill set. Yes, that’s right, dating can be approached as just another technology problem, with the twist that mastering the technology of dating the modern woman will provide benefits in every other aspect of your life!
What…?
Our approach to dating is to focus on men’s psychology. In our experience, women are atracted to men who behave like men, and not men who behave as they think women want them too. Or even worse, men that behave like women!
While this approach is implicit in many widely known methods of seduction, we choose to focus on men’s innate strengths, instead of focusing on men’s perceived weaknesses.
It turns out…
Dating can be reduced to a simple matter of logistics: have a plan, have a contingency plan, be prepared to wing it, and don’t worry about the outcome. It really is that simple. Mastering this technology allows you to relax and feel confident when you are on an actual date. And being relaxed and confident is very attractive to all women! Just read the online dating forums and try to find a woman looking for a tense and indecisive man.