Short answer: a brief call, when you feel like it…
You know when you are calling some hottie for the first time, and you get the “butterflies in the stomach” feeling? (Yes, ladies, men get this too!).
This feeling is your body producing adrenaline, feeding your “fight or flight” system, i.e., perfectly normal mating behavior.
But you don’t want “fight or flight” when you are calling up a girl, especially a girl you don’t know, who you just met.
What you want is to be is a cool, relaxed dude who is perfectly comfortable talking to girls on the phone. You do it all the time, right…? Chilled out, this is how you need to feel.
So before you call, get into a chilled out, relaxed state first, then call her up.
Even if you end up on her voice mail, you can leave a relaxed message:
“Hey, this is Dave, the surfer guy… let’s hang out and grab a coffee next week, say Monday evening after work. Hit me back, I’d love to hear from you.”
Now, when you should make this call? Right away? Two days later? A week after?
Well, the actual time doesn’t really matter… what matter’s is whether you have the time to 1. talk on the phone for a few minutes, 2. feel relaxed and chilled out when on the phone, and 3. have the time to meet up with her soon.
Here’s why all that works:
1. You do need to have a few minutes free to actually make a call. I’m allergic to phones myself, so I have to make myself take the time to call anyone, even my girlfriend. (Hi Sweetie!)
2. As part of 1. above, you may need to kick back for 15 minutes to let the butterflies settle, then call.
3. If you have no plans for meeting up, why are you wasting her time and yours? Make the meetup plans first (subject of another post), then call.
Now, there is something to be said for creating “mystery” and tension and not being appearing needy by calling to soon… but if you aren’t needy, then the time before calling doesn’t matter. If you are needy, you can wait as long as you want before calling, and you are still going to come across as needy!
If you’re calling a girl who goes by rules like “If he calls too soon he is a needy loser!” this girl plays lots of other manipulation games and you may be better off without her!
Women in touch with themselves and their desires do not play these kind of games!
SMS txt messaging is great way to prime a girl for a call too. The idea goes like this: txt her a short flirty message first. If she replies right away, txt her back something really short, then follow up with a call. If she replies much later (hours, days), give her a little space… reply back to her txt say an hour after she sends it. Either she is busy or she is not totally comfortable with you and needs some space. Repeat the txt cycle until she is comfortable with a fast reply, then call.
